So, I want to go to medical school. Probably LSU, as there's the nice little LSU-HS campus right downtown. The plus side is the fact that LSU doesn't require a degree, just the pre-reqs. Ninety hours shouldn't be too hard to punch out rather quickly, especially if my Paramedic Technologist hours count towards that. After that it's just the MCAT and actually gaining acceptance, which I feel pretty good about. The hard part is going to be securing funding for all this. My credit is shit, I don't know how major education institutions feel about loaning money to a person who is, according to the Big Three, bad with money.
I wan't to be an ER physician. I wan't to be a *good* ER physician. I wan't to go to school and school the other students. I want the checks my ego has written to not bounce. I can do this. I want this. Now I just have to overcome my fear of getting started.
2012 so far looks good, I guess. Nothing really new to report. Nothing really spectacular to look forward to. I guess it's cruise control from here on out.
I got a guitar and I'm playing with it, so there's that.
I don't expect anybody to see this, let alone understand or even relate. but, it's something I need to get out of my head so I can sleep. and, I apologize for the nature of this.
I just want someone to touch my dick and be genuinely excited about it.
Everyone is in the house, sick and asleep. 'Cept for me.
I'm bored, lonely, and cold.
I can't go out. Got nowhere to go. Rock the Mic is canceled due to weather. Everyone else is sick or busy.
Can't invite anyone here. House is a mess, and again, everyone is sick, busy, or sleeping.
Want to rant here, but don't have the energy.
As of forty minutes ago I can't eat or drink anything because I have bloodwork in the morning for my appointment on the 14th.
I'm gonna go get sterilized. Also see about this (what I believe is) narcolepsy. Mebbe get some good drugs. Gotta quit dozing and driving.
The internet bores me. Endless streams of porn. That's cool and all. I just don't have a taste for 99% of it, and the stuff I like I've seen already.
Everquest2 triggers my (what I believe is) narcolepsy. I love playing. But after a short while I drop off or lose focus and concentration. Which sucks because I love playing.
I miss my friends. I wish we all lived in the same house. A big one tho. So we're not all sleeping on each other. Well, not all of us anyways.
I want to go comfort Alicia. She's in bed sick and sleeping. But the best comfort she gets is sleeping. So there's nothing I can do. Which you know bothers me. I like to help.
Is it legal to keep a harem if they're not used for sex? I just like having women around.
I secretly hope this is narcolepsy. Not so I can have a syndrome to whine about, but so I might could have a cure for the way I feel. So many problems I have don't have cures, just staves, so it'd be nice to be able to fix something for once.
So its official.... I'm getting a vasectomy. Soon. I have two wonderful children, the world is not ready for anymore of my influence. Big changes this year. Quitting smoking. Putting my battalion on permanent lockdown.
Its for the best. And I'm totally excited, strangely enough.
I shouldn't complain. I have nothing to complain about. It's not my place to complain about it. And I'm not even sure there's anything to complain about. But. Son. Of. A. Bitch. Really? Just please. Just this one. Let it happen and let all rejoice. Please? I'll be good, I promise. I'll follow all the rules and brush my teeth. Just please give me this one. Please.
I have gained approximately 12 pounds since I "quit" smoking. As of Tuesday last I was 192 pounds. This shit has got to stop. I stopped smoking regularly in December and started eating better and less and more often and drinking more fluids and I'm still gaining weight.
Fuck you, universe. Thanks for punishing me for doing the healthy thing.
I am gonna have to get through a LOT of shitposting to get it out of my system. I figure if I can make it an effort to post once a day at least, it'll be easier. I got a lot of stuff I want out of my mind and I'm almost ready to do it.
Standing in chest deep water, freezing rain falling and stinging as it hits the exposed parts of my body. Holding her head above water to keep her from drowning until rescue could get there to cut her free --- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER
Comforting an 89 year old woman who just watched me and my partner cover the face of her husband of 64 years as he lay dead in their bathroom floor --- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER
On scene at an MVC with mom trapped upside down in her car and her dead sons body laying on top of her, and without a second thought for my own safety I crawl into the wreckage to take C-spine control and calm the frantic lady --- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER
Called away from my just prepared meal to respond to the middle of B.F.E to a house with no numbers, no porch light on, nobody waiting to signal us in, and they bitch because we took too long only to find out the patient left P.O.V ten minutes ago. So we smile and walk away from the verbal lashing only because -- we are JUST AMBULANCE DRIVERS
Standing in the middle of the street at midnight on the wrong side of town trying to patch the holes and stop the bleeding of a 19 year old shooting victim with the occasional bullet whizzing past our heads we never break stride because this kids life is in our hands --- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER
Doing chest compressions on a 16 year old girl who decided this life was more than she could take. Her family screaming at us to help as though we are the ones who did this to her. Her lifeless gaze staring holes in our souls as the tube goes in and IV's are being started, my arms and back burning from the pain of 30 minutes of CPR, never once giving up, hoping she would make it through and over come whatever lead her to this bad decision ---- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER
Death is all around me and still I go home to live my life. I get kicked, hit, spit on, bled on, puked on... I look into the eyes of a lifeless child at 7am and by 8pm I'm holding my child a little tighter and they know nothing about what happened -- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER
I have hundreds of hours of classroom time, years of experience in the field. I have challenged death and won. I've helped the helpless. I've neglected my family for yours. I find comfort in complete chaos. I eat cold meals if I eat at all. I work with no sleep for days at a time. I miss birthdays, holidays and school functions. I put myself in harms way for a total stranger on a daily basis, ALL BECAUSE I AM JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER.
I drive 60MPH through congested traffic, full of people who refuse to yield the right of way, while my partner stands UNRESTRAINED in the back of this SCREAMING land missile saving your loved ones life. Not ever does she question my driving, she knows at the end of this shift she will go home safely to her family because I AM AN AMBULANCE DRIVER!
I don't know about you guys, but there have been a few things that have been erased in my mind with the passage of time. I'd love to give you an example, but I think that's pretty self explanatory. There is a little sumthinsumthin that popped in my head today, gone for a while, but not forgotten (completely). It's like a little time capsule, a snapshot, if you will, of a different time. I'll now dispose with the melodramatics, and give the gift of yesteryear, a link to....
I had several scathing posts in mind, but I am better than that.
May I posit a few comments?
Democratic President + Democratic House + Democratic Senate = Runaway Train. Do not expect good things.
Free Healthcare is not free. That money comes from taxes. No matter who gets taxed, the end consumer is the one who foots the bill. As a Canadian, let me tell you, you may not enjoy universal healthcare as much as you think.
The phrase "Keeping the black man down" is now irrelevant. Please write that down.
As much as everyone loved to blame Bush for the economy that Bill Clinton set in motion, please remember that the rebound we are soon to feel is not the direct effect of Obama. No hypocrites, please.
"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said, "Is what we chiefly need: Pepper and vinegar besides Are very good indeed-- Now if you're ready, Oysters dear, We can begin to feed." If you don't understand what this means, I can't help you.
All in all, it was a well fought battle. Popular vote will show a country almost neatly divided. Now can we all shut the fuck up and get along? Divided we don't just fall, we fall, crumble, and burn.
So, yes, Congratulations. Good job in beating George Bush. Even though he didn't run.
thecanuck
nauseated.
sleepy.
hopeful.
determined.
nervous.
giddy.